In this day and age there are so many issues when it comes to love. Whether it’s being the person who hurts someone or being hurt by someone, we have started giving love this negative and disappointing outlook of it. But what I’ve seen more and more about our generation is that we have become numbing to the behaviors of those who say they love us.
I see a more girls are having hard time to love because they constantly live in the mindset of disappointment. Wondering if they best is actually going to happen but that not being the case. Having all these expectations about how a man should act our going off of the empty promises you give her. If she had a dollar for every time she’s heard “Baby. I’m not them” and “I wouldn’t do that to you” she would be a millionaire. You wondering why she is like this and that she wasn’t really ready for a relationship in the first place. That’s not the case, she has always been ready for relationship it’s just that she saw things being differently than you have given her. You just have to learn understand her and see how she sees things.
- She stop getting her hopes up a long time ago. Whenever you make promises to her or really anything that you say that you are going to do she tends to not believe you. She has been let down many times by someone saying they are going to do something and then not. She just kindly listens to you and what your say but doesn’t really get excited or her hopes up until you have actually done it.
- She thinks of the worst thing that could possible happen. It’s not intentional, just a habit that she has started. You could forget to call and she would thing it’s because you are done with her or because you don’t care. That may not be the case. Sometimes it’s because the worst may not happen. Setting herself to expect the worst knowing that you can only go up front there.
- Her standards meter is broken. She naturally has high standards but when it comes to you in particular. She may have this long list of what she wants in a man. but she has this small feeling that she will not get that nor does she feel like she deserves it. Many will call this settling but to her it’s taking what she has and looking to see if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
- For her trust is earned not given. She doesn’t trust anyone really unless they have showed her who they really are. At first she will not trust you because of the things she has dealt with in the past. In the beginning she make questions a lot of the things that you do. She will always question your intentions with her. Even if you tell her that you want to be with her from the beginning. It will take time for her to trust you but when she does she will trust you with her life.
- Giving up on you is not an option. Even if you’ve known her for a few weeks she will not give up on you. No matter what you two have been through and how much you fall short she will not stay and try to fix things. She can’t afford to give up on you. She’s invested too much time and energy into you. Although it may not seem like it she has slowly built something with your since the day you started talking to her. She has told you things she would share with other people. She fears starting over and having to share secrets to someone else.
- It may take her awhile to love you but when she does you know it’s whole heartedly. She has been hurt before so she is not quick fall in love with you unless she knows that you’re here for the long run. She’s is keep her heart closed and let you in a little bit at a time. She can’t help it. She doesn’t want to be in the same place before. Letting someone in who is not willing to be there with good intention. But when there is a good side to this.
She loves you more than she ever could. She knows all of your flaws and imperfections because she’s been looking at them since the beginning. She has learned to embrace those flaws you have. She understands that you are human and the can handle the worst things you’ve done.
In the end just take her as she is and love her for what she brings to the table. She may be the most difficult girl you’ve ever dated but one she loves you there is no turning back. Just give her that chance.
Be Kind, Stay Bold, Beautiful, and SMILE
Jacara L.
Beauty in a Mirror 